Why Is Young Marriage So Wrong?

Many of you know that I am engaged at the age of 18. I am smart enough to know that I am making a great decision. Many people fall in love at a young age and I think that it is a great thing. I feel that I am lucky because I didn't have to spend half my life looking for the one I want to spend the remaining of my life with. I have her young so we can have a long, happy life together. I feel that you know the one you want to marry after a couple years at the max. I have known my fiance' for more than 2 years. We were really good friends until we started dating. She lived 187 miles away from me but she dated one of my friends. I have been told that she talked about me more than my friend whom she was dating. We talked all the time and I knew she would be someone I would love to have as a life partner but she was dating someone and I was not going to interfere with that.

I have noticed a lot something that really offends me. Why is it that every time someone introduces me as Molly's fiance', they start questioning everything. They ask many questions like "Why are you doing it so young" and "Are you sure this is something that you want to do?" It tends to bother me that people cannot accept the fact that young people can fall in love and live a very happy life. The older generations make it seem as if when you fall in love young you will break-up and not be happy. I 100% disagree with that totally.

Just to make sure that we have made the right decision, we have decided to have a very long engagement just to make sure this is what we want to do. I have no doubt whatsoever that we are making the right decision. You know in your heart who you want to spend the rest of your life with when you meet them. I know there are going to be many hurdles and complexities but those only make the relationship stronger. We will both be in college when we fulfill our promise. I feel that getting married in college can be beneficial and does not mean that we are going to give up an education and future goals. It just means that we are going to share them with each other. We support one another in everything that we do. We both want to experience what the other does. For instance, Molly is an amazing singer and loves to be in musicals. So, I have watched some that she did in school and I joined a band with her church just so I could be close to her and to do the things that she loves.

Well, I am very good at doing many trades. I love to fix cars and install alarm system as well as many different electronics. Molly wants to watch me and learn how to do it but it is difficult for her because she has no experience and drive for this but its okay. I think its a very fun feeling being able to teach your significant other how to do things that you love and know how to do. I also love being able to try something completely new that neither one of us have done before. I think the experience is a greater one because there is no "competition" per say. I have done a lot of research on the Internet and I have read on several websites that people who are married actually ten to do better in school. I always thought that when I got to college I would live the life of a partier. I thought that I would go to the parties and try to find a girl that would match me. I know that this is a very dangerous game but I no longer have to worry about that. When you are committed to one person, I think you are a lot more healthy in your thinking and the fact that you ability to say no to a party. I do not need to party or do anything like that. I would rather spend the time that I would have wasted at a party with the girl I am spending the rest of my life with. We are building our future rather than building a beer-pong table. I am so happy that I have all I need in life now.

I have the feeling that if the point of marriage is to support each other along the journey, getting married young isn't such a bad idea. I know I am going to support her in everything and I know that she is there to support me in my dreams and passions. So pretty much you don't want to do this for yourself, but for your special someone who is rooting for you as well. In the back of my mind, I always know that having Molly by my side means she is committed to going through life with me, and having her by my side can form a very stable environment for marriage.

If any of my reasons were because to get away from parents, pregnancy, or fear of losing one another, then I would not have asked her. In my opinion, marriage should be a "want to" and not a "have to" feeling. I have the "want to" attitude without any doubts in my mind. I know that there are many responsibilities in a marriage, especially when you are young. I don't think that the older generations can accept the fact that some kids can actually take care of themselves and handle responsibilities. I know some responsibilities could include financial issues, where to live, jobs, grocery shopping, bills, cooking, cleaning, continuing our educations, and communication which is the most important to me.

I have learned that marriage is one of the most important commitments that someone can make during their lifetime especially when you are young. If you are considering making such a commitment, it is important to think about the type of commitment that you will be making with the person you plan to marry. I have made a marriage covenant rather than a marriage contract. The marriage covenant is a commitment made in the presence of God, and is valid until death. It is a commitment that is irrevocable and does not depend on the performance of either spouse. A marriage contract on the other hand is a commitment made in the presence of a legal authority, and is valid until the contract is broken. It is a commitment that is kept until one spouse, or both, fails to perform according to the contract. I feel that marriage should not be so much a legal contract but a contract with God. I hope that this is not coming across the wrong way but I feel that when I marry Molly, I am not doing it for legal purposes. I am doing it because I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I love her with every beat of my heart. We are going to have her father who is a pastor join our lives together making us one. The marriage covenant is a great principle because when the spouses' spiritual, emotional and physical relationships with each other are all strong, and each spouse's relationship with God is strong, the marriage is strong and balanced.

I have made just a few personal commitments to Molly that I will commit myself to live everyday with:

• I will never ever want to or even consider being with anyone else. I will have the commitment to you and I will never break that. There is no one else in this world that I would rather be with.
  
  
• I will never curse you out or say the phrase, "I Hate You" or "I regret this" or "If only I were single" or anything that derives the premises that I don't want to be with you. I will not even joke about it.
  
  
• I will never put you in harm's way. I will do everything in my power to make sure you are protected even if that means doing things that are drastic. If taking my own life in a situation saves yours, then I would do it in a heartbeat. I will protect you, our kids, family,
  and most importantly, I WILL PROTECT OUR RELATIONSHIP!
  
  
• I promise never to go to bed angry. If it means that I have to stay up all night then I will do it. If you are tired and I am not, and we have not come to a conclusion and I am angry then, I will not sleep until we come to a decision. Every night we go to bed mad or angry is like going to bed hating one another because they are all bad thoughts again when we wake up.
  
  
• I promises to accept the differences that we will have. We will not always agree on everything but I promise to look at all options and TOGETHER we will make the right one. I promise not to be selfish and to look at everything from your point of view as well as mine and maybe others. That together we will make a decision that may not be the right one but we made it together.
  
  
• I promise to always support your dreams and do everything in my power to help fulfill them. I want you to complete everything that you set your mind to and I promise I will be right next to your side rooting you on. I will be the one who will clap before anyone else starts to. I will be your stronghold and you support beam.
  
  
• I promise that I will not make everything my one or just one sided. I will include you in everything I do. If you have an idea on how to do something better then I will come with an open mind and an open heart. That is what a marriage is about, two people working together driven by the divine of love. That is what I believe and I want you to be as involved in something as I am in. I do not care what other people think about us or how we are perceived. My love you for is perfect and no one will ever change that. I want us to work as one and to love as one. To love one another no matter what.
  
  
• I promise when you are sick I will be right there by your beside. I will take care of you and I will make you feel better. If it means I have to do a happy dance then so be it. I will be there by your bedside until you get better. If I get the call that you're not well, then I will leave work no matter the situation and come home to take care of you. I will bring you breakfast-in-bed even if it is just McDonald's. I will take care of you no matter what the sacrifice. If we are unable to pay the bills for the hospital, then I will sell our cars or whatever is needed to make sure you and our kids are healthy.
  
  
• I promise to admit fault if I do something wrong. I promise I will man-up and make it right. I am not always right but I will make it right if I was in the wrong.

I definitely, without a doubt know what I am going to be getting into and I am ready to spend my life with the one I love. I have heard to phrase, "Age isn't anything but a number." I wish this were as real as its said. I found a good article that was adopted by D. James Kennedy that points out The Ten Commitments for Marriage. I have read through everyone of them and I agree and with commit myself to all of these. I know what Gods plans for me are and I know the include me spending my life with Molly. The Ten Commitments are:

1. "Thou shalt have no other human being before your husband or your wife." No other human being should come before your mate - no one, neither father nor mother, son nor daughter, brother nor sister, friend nor acquaintance.
   
   
2. "Thou shalt put no thing before your husband or wife." You should put no thing between each other. No house should ever come before your spouse. Whether house, car, pleasure, money, or fame - nothing."
   
   
3. "Thou shalt not belittle, criticize or faultfinding, but rather encourage your spouse in all ways." Since God's Word teaches us to make no idols, it follows that we are to honor each other's name. Honor each other and seek to put each other first above any other person on earth.
   
   
4. "Thou shalt remember her/his day, to keep it special." Set time aside for the two of you so you may not grow apart but even closer. Your spouse and your children are worthy of your time and your undivided attention.
   
   
5. "Thou shalt give honor not only to your father and mother, but to those who become your father-in-law and mother-in-law." As you two become one, you marry into another family. Wise is the husband or wife who does not take it upon himself or herself to find fault with those who are related to their spouse.
   
   
6. "Thou shalt not destroy the spirit within your spouse." Husbands, do not destroy your bride's dreams and hopes for the future which she now places in your hands. Most of man's earthly happiness depends upon his wife. Most assuredly God will bless a man in this life, yet John Wesley discovered that, regardless of a noble cause, a woman can make a man most miserable. Wife, covenant that you will not be such a person. Both of you must honor and build up the person hood of the other.
   
   
7. "Thou shalt give your passions only to each other, not to another." You should not give away your passions to another in word, in thought, or in deed. This person beside whom you stand on your wedding day is to be your lover as well as your helpmate and your best friend.
   
   
8. "Husband, steal not from your wife that which is her privilege to give. Wife, receive what he gives to you with gratitude". The spirit of gratitude can greatly can greatly bless a home. If your minds are filled with thoughts of gratitude, and if you look on that which you do have and not that which you do not have, you will be blessed.
   
   
9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness to each other." Be honest with each other. Dishonesty and an unwillingness to talk through differences build a silent wall which is not easily dismantled. The real self, then, refuses to be disclosed, and a couple may gradually begin to drift apart.
   
   
10. "Thou shalt not seek greener pastures, whether they be those things physical or material." Do no engage in selfish fantasies. Be content with the one whom God has given to you, and God will bless your lives together.

I think, well, I know that every marriage should be based on the commitments listed above. I am going to try my hardest with the help of God to fulfill these commitments and be the best husband that I can be. I hope that his has somewhat proved that a young marriage isn't a bad thing and I hope it might have proved older generations that a young person might just know what he/she is talking about. We are not as stupid as some see us.

If you have any questions or concerns, then please leave a comment or send me a message.

-Brandon